And of course, a wide range personal development products suggests that everything is your fault, for not working hard enough on yourself. For the past two decades, researchers started to study how we can counter these emotions. The field of positive psychology has emerged, the study of what makes that life is worth living. At the same time, cognitive behavioral therapy was developed to change negative feelings.
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Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash |
"Why do some people are happier and more satisfied than others? "
"And can we apply what they do well to the rest of us? " In this post we want to talk from one of the best predictors how happy people are, how easy it is to make friends, and their ability to get through difficult times. An antidote to dissatisfaction, so to speak. Gratitude. Even though "gratitude" may sound like to yet another mode of personal development, put forward by people using hashtags, what we know now is based on a body of scientific work and studies.We have included them in the description. The word "gratitude" can mean very different things for different people in different contexts. It's just as much a character trait, a feeling, virtue and behavior. You can feel grateful to someone who has done something for you, towards an unpredictable event like the weather, or even towards nature or destiny. And all of this is programmed in our body.
1: How Gratitude Connects Us with each other
The predecessor of gratitude is probably reciprocity. It evolved as a biological signal who motivated animals to exchange things for their mutual benefits and which can be found in the animal kingdom among some fish, birds or mammals, but particularly in primates. When your brain recognizes that someone does something nice for you, he reacts with gratitude to motivate you to make this gesture. This gratitude makes you take care of others, and the others take care of you. It was important because, at the same time as the human brain became better at reading emotions, selfish individuals have been exposed and ducked.It has become an evolutionary advantage get along with others and build lasting relationships. For example, if you were hungry and someone else showed you where to find delicious berries, you felt gratitude to him, and born the desire to give it back in the future, a way of being sociable. When you returned them, they felt gratitude to you. This brought our ancestors closer and forge bonds and friendships. So the first forms of gratitude were biological mechanisms who pushed our behavior towards cooperation, which allowed humans to dominate the Earth. But with time, gratitude has become much more just a push to be fair.
2: The Consequences of Gratitude
Scientists have found that gratitude stimulates brain areas involved in feelings of reward, in the formation of social bonds, and in interpreting the intentions of others. It also makes it easier memorizing and recalling positive memories. And that's not all, gratitude fights directly negative emotions and characters like lust or social comparison, narcissism, cynicism and materialism. Consequently, grateful people, no matter why, tend to be happier and more satisfied. They have better relationships and more facilities to make friends, They sleep better, are less likely to suffer from depression, addictions or burn-outs and better manage traumatic events.In a way, gratitude decreases the chances of falling into one of the psychological traps that modern life has in store for you. For example, gratitude against significantly the tendency to forget and minimizes positive events. If you work long and hard for something, actually getting it may seem silly and meaningless. You can feel emotionally returned to where you started and try to reach the next big goal, looking for that satisfaction instead of being satisfied with yourself.Or imagine being alone and wanting to have more friends. You probably know someone or even several people who want to hang out with you, but you may have the sensation that it’s not enough, that you are a loser and feel bad about yourself. So you could decline the invitations to go out and become even more alone.
If you feel grateful towards your relationships instead, you could accept invitations or even take the initiative. The more you take the risk of opening up, the more likely you are to strengthen your relationships and meet new people. In the best case, gratitude can trigger a virtuous circle: positive feelings lead more sociable behavior, which leads to more good social experiences, which creates more positive feelings. It is a common phenomenon after going through serious difficulties, like chemotherapy for example. Life may seem wonderful once a crisis has passed.
The smallest things can be sources of intense joy, whether it's the opportunity to taste, just sit in the sun or chat with a friend. Objectively, your life is the same or even slightly worse than before but your brain compares your current experiences with the time when life was bad and reacts with gratitude. So in a nutshell, gratitude refocuses your attention on the good things you have, and the consequences of this change are better feelings, and more positive experiences. Even though it's great to know these things, is there a way to benefit more?
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